Monday, June 21, 2010

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And you get to a certain point ... How much would I give to

... that everything seems clearer.
You wake up one morning and you wonder why you're thinking this person is so hard to make it the first thought of the day. You look and around the circle so hard to feel a knot in my stomach if you do not cross your eyes ...
... happens ... and then one day you realize that something is changing, becoming aware of your feelings, strong emotions that bind her. I look forward to the evening, times when we were living together and everything changed like lightning.
try to resist, but you can not resist something that you already know what will ... and then you let yourself go, you go and live, live, live ...
I'M LIVING!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

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....

Each period of our life has meaning ... a very specific meaning! I'm wondering what significance this may have time for me ... see so small, almost motionless, and especially so fragile makes me come to tears. Tonight I tried to look away to avoid letting go.
There has never been in twenty years a strong relationship between us, but every day after Christmas spent together, the laughter ... the warmth of that part of the family that has a special meaning, particularly ... I can not think that probably there will be more days like this, or better ... you'll not be able to play more than seven and a half with us, you do not feel quarrel because Dad steals the coins ...
I feel disoriented ... watch with glittering eyes the grandfather sitting on that chair which seems huge compared to him who is standoti next lot thinner in recent months ...
I try not to see my parents, I hide in the attic or look out to shed a few tears ... I do not want to see me ... so fragile, as they have ever been! I often think of the "then" and I can not find peace ... because you were the strongest, the one that never surrendered ... and now they never see you again ... your body has left us strong to give way to a miserable little body and property, which barely moves ... I miss your accusations ... but I've always laughed about it and I commented with a "if you" ...
We are all here waiting for something, an answer, a change ... but this change will not happen and it is difficult accept it and feel impoteti ...
I love you Grandma!